Side note: Before I get started I have to say that life has been pretty incredible since the move a month ago. I have been enjoying my unlimited time with the kids and the experience of being a stay at home mom, even if it’s temporary, has been amazing. Exhausting but amazing. Really exhausting. Really.
So, we last left off learning how to love our tummies for all they have done, all they endured, and all the wonderful joys that have come from it. If you have not then re-read : How To Love Your Tummy in 5 Easy Steps and I will wait for you here….
Now it is time to walk the walk.
THE BIG REVEAL
For me, the strangest and hardest moment comes when the belly had to come out. Why? Because I create this very elaborate and completely unrealistic expectation of what is going to happen. That is how fear works and that is why it’s so powerful. While it seems crazy now that I write it down, those thoughts included:
- Everyone is going to just stare at me.
- Everyone is going to start talking about me.
- Everyone is going to be grossed out.
First of all, the idea what everyone would even be bothered to do half those things is insane. People are busy with their own lives and doing to their own thing to waste their energy on a stranger. The thing with fear is that it doesn’t work on a small scale. It will throw everything at you at one time. It will convince you that all the worst things can possibly happen will happen and maybe even then some. So, it’s time to break the cycle and change your perception. Challenge each fear one at a time. I’ll do the top 3 because really I have thousands of them.
- What would happen if EVERYONE stared? What if that’s actually really amazing? It never occurred to me, until I got stared at hard by a 13 year old, that we have not normalized uniqueness. We still have not grasped the concept that we are all very different. There is no “average” or “normal”. There’s only human. So, while we hide our bodies away by covering up we keep ourselves hidden. People stare because they’re just not used to seeing it. Period. So, I am now encouraged by the stares. I want people to see it so much they might feel encouraged to be themselves and to feel less alone. Maybe if we all take off the cover and let the sunshine in we could help others step out into the light as well. Loneliness + Fear = Nothing good.
- What would happen if EVERYONE started talking about me? Again, how great is it to be able to talk about things to one another. In having this open forum I have been approached by sooo many people who are thankful for my words. By speaking first, sometimes that’s the momentum that someone might need to open up and start talking about the things that have been holding them back. Words are very powerful and coupled with action can make a very big impact. I will not just talk about loving my tummy, I’m going to show it to the world and get the conversation going! Imagine what would happen if we all joined in?
- What would happen if EVEYONE got grossed out? This one is a little interesting the more I think about it because I think that this emotion is strong among people who don’t understand the journey. I want to reach these people, too. There’s nothing gross about our stretch marks. It’s skin. Amazing skin that was stretched beyond it’s capacity but strong enough to keep it together. How amazing is that? Scars tell a story of a time when we were hurt but survived. Again, it was a time when we should have been broken but didn’t.
Recently, I asked my son to take a picture of me sitting down while wearing a two piece. I’ve gotten over many things but that sitting down thing still made me feel so uncomfortable. Naturally, I thought even my own son would be grossed out or wonder why I’d even want a picture like that but I challenged those insecurities head on and this is what happened:
The level he cared about my tummy: 0
So today, challenge those fears and find that power within you to overcome it. The more you let that fear out the more room you will make for love and peace in your life. xoxo