I am absolutely fascinated by people and their behavior. I have studied this, on my own and in college because I love it that much. Prior to moving I worked as a Human Resource Director and worked with kids. I absolutely loved it. I learned that there are things we can control and things we cannot. There are things that can be explained and there are things that cannot. What I believe we are all called to do is reflect on ourselves and challenge every thought and emotion every once in a while to determine if it’s truly what we believe. Really look into our own behavior and determine how it became to be and take control of the areas that have somehow gotten away from us. Sort of like spring cleaning but for your heart. As a mom I realize that these insecurities and fear are not natural. We’re just not born with them and trust me, from the moment my kids became mobile I kinda wish they had. They have no concept of gravity, injury, heat, or electricity and they certainly don’t know about shame or body image.
I read two books that were absolutely amazing and eye opening:
- The Power of Habit: Why we do what we do in life and business
- Why Men Never Remember and Women Never Forget
Both of these books explored why do we what we do but from a scientific standpoint and both made me feel a little less crazy because you know sometimes I question my own sanity. My hope is that you’d pick up the books and read them BUT knowing that you may not have the time or effort I will highlight the two main parts that have stuck me with since finishing them both.
It’s all in you head.
Sort of. Did you know that women’s and men’s brains have been scientifically proven to be different? May you did but I never did. I assumed we’re all the same on the inside but it turns out that’s just not true. Why is that important?? Because it’s COOL! Also because we learn how extra gray matter in our brains and the more connections we have are all associated with feelings, vocabulary, memory, empathy, etc. For example) The level of cortisone (hormone released in stress) stays elevated in women longer than men because you know what lowers or blocks that cortisone? No? Testosterone. Do you know what women don’t have a whole lot of running through they’re bodies? Yep, testosterone. So when the man in your life seems cool as a cucumber and you’re still wrapped up in the stress of a moment, you’re not crazy! Yay! The book (Why Men Never Remember…..) went into much greater detail about how these differences effect our communication, our memories, our ability to problem solve, and so much more. Ugh. So fascinating.
They’re also in your head
The Power of Habit was mind blowing and incredibly insightful because it really helped to breakdown how we form habits and how we can actually go about changing them through a very conscientious process. It challenges you as the reader to really start digging deep. This can actually be very difficult because it might open up some memories you’d prefer to keep buried BUT I assure you it will help you understand youself so much better. In addition to all the amazing inside detail it gives to you as a person it also opened my eyes to the other people who also know this information. Big Brother. Big Companies who want to make BIG money from me.
I was once in a seminar for Social Media Marketing and the presenter said something so basic and yet so profound. He said “People are motivated by two things: Pleasure or Pain.” So between this information and my newly discovered knowledge I realized how much pain had been a motivator in my life and how companies are irresponsibly contributing to this epidemic of self loathing. They know how to cause us pain and they are not afraid to use it.
Case in point:
Just earlier this week I was walking through Target and began to look around and then it dawned on me that the Sporting Wear was right smack across from the Maternity/Plus Size section. So subtle and yet so bold of a move! Every time that beautiful woman goes to pick up an article of clothing she is reminded that she is not fitting into the mold. Worse, she has to walk by ALL the clothes she can’t actually fit into. All the while your conscious brain may not notice but your subconscious knows what’s up. It gets the message loud and and starts sending out those shame signals like the fireworks. This is not by chance. This is a deliberate layout and we have to learn to look deeper at what is being put in front of us.
You have the power to change things.
Any idea or belief that brings you down, is meant to. We have to learn to challenge it and refuse to be used as a marketing ploy or feel like we’re crazy when it might just be the way you’re wired. It’s a shame that there is an actual science dedicated to manipulating our thoughts and behaviors for the sole purpose of purchasing a product. That’s why knowledge is power and we have to stop giving power to those who are only interested in their bottom line no matter what the cost. Sometimes with this new found knowledge we feel bombarded and don’t know where to start. Doesn’t matter where you start, just start somewhere. It has taken you your entire life to get yourself to where you are now so be patient and kind with yourself and take it one step at a time.
In other exciting news:
As you may or may not know I started this project back in March. That is when I came up with my short term and long term goals. As a result the goals for my first 6 months was just to build and audience. That is a lot easier said than done. I have been trying to find my voice and figure out a way to share my passions. I’ve also been reaching out to fellow bloggers and pro healthy body image advocates. Just yesterday one of the pictures I submitted to the #TakeBackPostPartum was featured on Instagram and now I have 300 followers and growing. So I want to personally thank January Harshe for her work and encourage you to check out her Birth Without Fear Blog.
The only way to make this a success is to get the message out there and your sharing or even liking post makes a big difference. I know at one point in my life I was so self-conscious that I didn’t want to even like a post referring to any struggle because I didn’t want anyone to even know it might relate to me in any way. I know it sounds crazy but I know I’m not the only one. Just wanted to make sure you knew you weren’t alone. xoxo