My Biggest Act of Rebellious Self Love To Date

I can honestly tell you that I never knew women with bodies like mine existed. My body being small yet curvy. Fit yet, because of my stretchmarks, flabby. Being able to finish a triathlon but not capable of wearing a bikini. So many of the #bodylove groups dedicated to plus size or #mombod groups which I also didn’t fit in despite my health and dedication to fitness. My body just didn’t match anyone else in these groups so I felt I didn’t belong.

It’s not like I didn’t know women had stretchmarks or had different body types but there’s a lot to be said when you NEVER see anyone like you. It really made me feel unique but not in a good way. I felt pressured to cover up or start saving up for a tummy tuck. There was no other option presented to me until I decided to create one for myself. Why do we simple accept the definitions placed upon us? Who ever said we couldn’t decide?

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When I began PowerToPrevail I wanted my photos and blog to be different. They were going to be in color. They were going to be of me. They were going to be of me doing all the things that bring me joy. My kids would be involved but I didn’t want them in all of my pictures because I am not just a mother. I am a human first and having children has been a defining moment in my story but it is not all that I am. I wanted this to be about my journey and struggles. So, I complied photos and quickly realized I actually had to put the pictures on the internet.

Was I really ready for that? Did I feel that strongly that it would resonate with anyone??

After starting this blog and based on women I hear from on Instagram and Facebook I am far far far from alone but how come we don’t know that?? Why are we walking around with shame in our hearts and a burden on our shoulders to strive for a body that is just not in the cards for us? We all have a place we belong and it’s really time for more of us to know that. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! So far the feedback has been phenomenal and very gratifying but I want to do more. I want to make a bigger difference. So…..

I have decided to pursue modeling. Yes. That kind of modeling.

Woah. I know. That is such a loaded statement that comes with a lot of pre-conceived notions and ego but this was not decision I take lightly but rather one I feel is my duty.

Why? I had to realize two things:

  1. Your body is not a indicator of your health. I am the healthiest I have ever been in my entire life and that’s sort of hard to tell from my body. A part of me almost gave up working out and doing races because if I couldn’t look the part then what was the point? Oh yeah, my health. As a woman I face a great deal of health risks as I get older. I think of my heart, bones, and hormones. Being as healthy as possibles make all of those things seem a little less scary. I have to live for my future self and the only way to do that is to take care of myself right now. The very best way I can. I want to help other women see that and be inspired to move and be active for their sake and for the sake of those who love them. Women’s Health Magazine recently made headlines by banning the use of phrases like “Bikini Body” or “drop 2 sizes” (You can read about it here). Excellent progress and the next month they featured Christina Aguilera on the cover talking about the unfair pressure put on women/moms but she was fully clothed and I couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed. Healthy bodies come in all shapes, textures, and sizes.
  2. I need to be the example 15 year old me needed to see and the postpartum me needed. I keep hoping someone else will come out and be the one but have yet to see it. So I asked myself if I truly felt this would be something I could do. It is and someone has to be the one to do it. Am I afraid of judgment? Please see Exhibit A which I wrote about 3 months ago: They’re Going To Judge You Anyway This idea really goes far beyond me and I can’t keep waiting around for someone else to take the lead. Scars and stretchmarks are here to stay and they are beautiful and a part of us. There’s nothing to be ashamed about. You are more important than a fashion trend. That is the message we need to continue to spread and embrace!

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Do I really think this can happen? It kinda already has. So, I can’t share many details right now but a photo shoot is in the works and that’s ALL i can say right now!! Ahhhh!! I cannot begin to explain how exciting and scary it is. I believe very strongly in following your passions and seeing how much this project grown and helped others in the last 10 months is a testament that I am heading in the right direction.

Was this my intention from the beginning? Absolutely not. I am allowing things to move in the direction it needs to and listening to my heart. What is going to happen next? I have no idea.

Right now I can only focus on being not doing.

UPDATE ON MY #TOPLESS5K TOUR 

Due to having to travel for this photo shoot I will not be back in time to run on Saturday, February 13th but will be back to run on February 14th in what looks like even more fun! They are encouraging costumes which is always a plus in my book.

WHEN: Sunday February 14th at 8:00 am – 11:00am

WHERE: Terry Hershey Park  15200 Memorial Dr, Houston, TX 77079

EVENT SCHEDULE:

8:00 a.m. – Onsite Registration / Race Check-in

9:00 a.m. – 5K Fun Run Start

10:00 a.m. – 11:00 a.m. – Post Race Snacks/Activities

Click here for: Chasing Cupid Event and Info

Even if you can’t join in person you can still participate by using the #topless5K hashtag and tag me @powertoprevail . This about pushing ourselves out of our comfort zones and being proud for all our bodies have accomplished!!

Still not sure about letting all that skin show? Read all about the lessons I learned from running topless right here: 3 Lessons I Learned From Running Topless

Have a phenomenal day! xoxo

 

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