Costa Rica was everything we wanted it to be and more! My legit favorite thing was experiencing this Pura Vida lifestyle that every last person embraces. According to Wikipedia “the saying goes beyond its simple translation: it’s a way of life. It is a perspective to life that evokes a spirit that is carefree, laid back and optimistic.” I couldn’t help but take that one step further and apply to our self love and how pure and authentic it means to love the skin we are in simply because it’s ours.
The way our bodies have been put on the forefront of things we should care about is really unnecessary. It’s an additive to our mental health diet that doesn’t serve us in any way. Caring about odd growing moles, sure. Caring about the natural processes of life? Not so much. We have been convinced that the ONLY way to experience life fully is in a flawless body with no consideration of mind or spirit.
Did we make these ideas up? Aren’t they natural? No. I assure you. No. Articles like this have been SHOVED down our throats and BOMBARDED our brains for years and years.
Maybe they’re right. I mean the proof is in the pudding right? Here I am with stretch marks, scars, loose skin, thighs that touch, and more. There’s no possible way I could enjoy a beach vacation according to the article above. The WORST part of this article is that these super easy to make meals will “GUARANTEE you head off to the shore feeling your best on the inside and in your favorite swimsuit..” and what is so Eeek about putting on a bikini? Seriously? What real thing? Not this made up stuff.
I mean, look how miserable I am finding sand dollars on my horseback ride on the beach. Look how my body has prevented my ability to see a childhood dream come true:
Complete and utter sadness.
I can’t possibly be super excited to be exploring waterfalls and rainforest. The shame of having a body capable of doing so is too great..
Isn’t my misery heartbreaking?
I honestly might has well have stayed in my room the entire time. It was as if the ENTIRE country didn’t care about me and my body as I explored it endless beaches and pristine oceans.
Such a shame…
Next time I’ll be better prepared. I’ll spend weeks forcing my body to fit an impossible mold. I’ll spend weeks being feeling like a complete failure that it is anatomically possible to look like every other person on the planet. I’ll blame my lack of effort and genetics. I’ll shamefully pack bikinis I have not earned the right to wear and I’ll apologize to every stranger subject to having to see my body being a body. I’ll let them know I tried really hard to make them approve of me despite our interaction being seconds long and a forgettable memory and ask for their irrelevant forgiveness.
For now I’m stuck with these memories. Forever.