Mommy Makeover Mayhem

I live in a bubble. I don’t watch TV or listen to the radio much so unless it comes across my newsfeed or is on NPR, I don’t really know it’s happening. So, imagine my surprise when I heard a spot on the radio talking about a “mommy makeover”. It’s an expression I’ve heard before but it usually referred to a new haircut and wardrobe. What I heard sent me into a tirade. Thankfully I was alone and censorship wasn’t necessary.

I waited until I got home (don’t text and drive y’all!) too look up this mommy makeover nonsense and was absolutely floored.

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I still need moments to compose myself.

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:::sigh:::

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So this “makeover” typically consists of MULTIPLE procedures. MULTIPLE!

“A mommy makeover is a combination of procedures to address the problems usually created by pregnancy. This includes some form of breast surgery, a  tummy tuck and liposuction.” – Straight from the website.
FIRST OF ALL (I can’t stay calm), the use of the word problem is incorrect. My breast have swollen and filled with milk so that I can choose to feed my child. My boobs can sustain life! The fact that they sag afterward is a problem for whom??? My tummy grew to accommodate a new f*cking human being and may not go back to the way it once was. What is the problem with stretch marks or loose skin?? If it was a “problem” then why did my personal doctor not “treat” me for it. Fat deposits throughout my body to … I legit don’t know what the extra padding is for but I sure as sh*t can tell you that it isn’t a problem and is probably some incredible life sustaining thing.
SECOND OF ALL, I have so many items on my bucket list that $10K + can be put to better use for. You think you can’t enjoy a vacation on the white sandy beaches of some exotic island unless you have a smooth tummy? Skip the surgery and buy the damn ticket and see for yourself. Please make sure to thank me in the postcard you’ll send me just to make me jealous and proud. You think you can’t be intimate with your partner again because you don’t have perky breasts? Skip the surgery and buy a freaking nothing and just flip the lights on and you can name your next baby Ana because you’re welcome.
FINALLY, for all these “problems” they promise to fix, they give you no guarantee of what you’re going to get in return. You’re betting your life and money that your happiness, peace, and joy exist on the other side of an operating room. I dare you to ask any of these doctors if they can GUARANTEE that they are solving your “problems” and not a single one will. They can’t but they can’t tell you that. They can guarantee to fill up your breasts, smooth out your skin, and suck the fat out of you but can’t guarantee what that will get you.
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{I’ve been asked many many many times if I have ever considered owning more than 7 cats.  The answer? AWWW HELL YES! So today, i will talk about the power to prevail, WITH CATS.  With guest interviewee, Samosa.} – That’s what happens when I leave my laptop open in a room full of mentors.
So when it comes to the conversation of plastic surgery, I have MY opinion and I want to make it clear that I am not judging you if you chose that path or if that path is where you continue to walk toward. I have been there. I was convinced that this was what I NEEDED. I was sure that THIS was my ticket to freedom. I want you to walk in peace and with the conviction that you are putting your joy and happiness into something that no one can touch and above any fear and shame.
As a mom, I consider risks. Always. The reality is that having multiple surgeries at one time is opening up to a world of potential hazards and I had to weigh the worst case scenario against my best case scenario. The potential for death is real and I had to ask myself what I was thinking about risking death for? To have a smooth tummy so that I can spend a family vacation on the beach? Could I feel my death could be explained to my children in a way that they would understand that I was doing it out of love? What was I pursuing that I’d risk being able to watch them grow up?
That made my decision so much easier to make. Once I also realized that I wasn’t ready to give up on my life at 28 just because someone has chosen to vilanize normally biological function, I began to challenge the very messages that we are still bombarded with today. I put my self-love first and the fear that had been instilled in me began to loosen its grip. The more I gave love a chance, the more my life thrived. Stretch marks, scars, loose skin, and all.
xoxo,
Ana
COMING UP:
April 28 | Workshop: How to Stay Body Positive This Summer
Houston, TX
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